From The Seduction of Emy and Other Stories

Copyright 2023 A. R. Gregory

 

Weight Loss Wizard

Ron Ramstrong, his bulging pecs splaying his silk shirt open to his navel, bounded to center stage. He flailed his fists, glared at the rows of rapt faces before him. “Folks, it ain’t rocket science. It’s literally as easy as pie. You eat too much, you weigh too much. You gotta starve the beast, and the beast is your dumbass, out-of-control appetite.”

He peered upward, shook his head as if having a private conversation with the Almighty, and neither he nor God could believe anyone could doubt his words. Then he stared back at the audience. “What is it about hunger that scares you so much? What does hunger mean to you? Emptiness, want, poverty, pain, starvation, death? But doesn’t America mean wanting for nothing, every appetite, every desire, every whim gorged, fulfilled to the fullest? Everyone fat and happy to the max. Is there anything more un-American than hunger?”

He hunched, ready to pounce, roared, “Admit it, folks, that’s exactly how you think about hunger. Well, guess what. Your thinking is wrong! All wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong...!”